Don’t Fondle My Junk

So, here we go!  It’s off to granny’s house for a Thanksgiving dinner!  The bags were packed, the family was hyped, and good times were be had by all.  That is….until we arrived at the airport!  When we got to the TSA check-point, “Meat-handed Mike” stuck his hands between my legs and made audible sounds like a moose in heat as he frisked me for weapons of mass destruction…or some such stuff!

Look at me!  I’m a middle aged-white guy with a pouch!  When was the last time a guy like me brought down an airliner!?!?  Let’s see….n-e-v-e-r!!!!!!!!!!  And, my “weapon” is neither massive nor destructive….just ask Jane!

The TSA (under the gentle, lubricating hands of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano) quotes a CBS poll that states 4 of 5 Americans have no objections to the screening.  Well, I am betting that none of the 4 who were for  “enhanced” screen had to put up with Meat-handed Mike!!!!!!!  They would be singing a different tune if Mike screened their wife or daughter!!   Or if Mike stuck his hands on their “junk!”  And, to make matters worse, Mike never offered me a glass of wine or  a cigarette after he was finished with me!  He just moved on to the next person in his long line of one-trick ponies!  I bet he won’t call either!

Where has common sense gone?  Why put granny through a pat-down?  Or expose her to radiation in a scanner?  Have we lost our friggin’ minds?  The world must be coming to an end and I’m to stoned from vodka to get it!  Discretion and rationale are needed as we attempt to combat the jihadists that would bring this country to its knees!

What is wrong with terrorism profiling?  Until granny straps a bomb to her sagging tits and blows a plane out of the sky, let’s focus on the type of people who are likely to try act of terrorism.  What about young Muslim males!  Seems like a good place to start to me!  Unless I missed the memo, ALL of the crazies that brought down the Twin Towers, crashed into the Pentagon, blew up the World Trade Center, stuck a bomb in their underpants (a real genius) on Christmas Day, tried to light their tennis shoes, etc., were young Muslim males!!!  Hint, hint!!!  In our politically, overly sensitive world, we have become so paralyzed that we cannot function for fear that we will offend someone’s race, religion, ethnic background!  As Don Henley would say, “Get over it!!!!!!!!!”  America is at war with extremists that are determined to destroy our way of life.  It is past time for Americans to strike back!!!  It is time to stop being a nation of “pussies!”  Let’s say what we mean….and mean what we say!!  Let’s go “Chris Cristie” on our enemies!!

Furthermore, if we are determined to continue this madness, let’s privatize the job to contractors;  at least, the taxpayers will save a little money while they are being fondled!

2012….Vote Them Out!!!


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