Quick Hits – 11/7/11 (Kim and the Gay Penguins)

++Kim Kardashian’s 72 day experiment with martial bliss is over!  Boo hoo!!!  Reports claim that Kim took in as much as $17 million from the engagement and wedding during this highly publicized romance with a much-traveled NBA player, Kris Humphries.   Her $2 million engagement ring is almost as much as Kris earned last year…..and she won’t give it back!  Sorry, Kris, you hitched your wagon to the wrong non-star!

++Sharon Bialek, Herman Cain’s most recent accuser, held a news conference with her attorney, Gloria Allred, (huh, gag!!!!!) to  provide the details of  her “sexually inappropriate” encounter with Cain almost 15 years ago.  According to Bailek, Cain thrust his hand between her legs and pulled her head towards his crotch!  I guess Bailek is trying to find closure after all this time….although, she was not convincingly distraught at the press conference.  This will bring closure….to Herman’s presidential hopes!

++A 106 year old Newfoundland woman, Margaret Moores, celebrated her birthday with pizza and fries.  Margaret also loves and craves “her sweets” and tells her friends that the secret to a long life is to work hard and have lots of fun when you retire!  Go, girl, go!!!

++Michael Vick, the Philadelphia Eagles QB, is the most disliked player in the NFL according to Forbes Magazine.  He is disliked by 60% of “casual to serious” fans.  Wonder how he would stack up in the “most disliked  human being” category!  Probably pretty high on the list……especially if man’s best friend has a ballot!  PETA claims to have forgiven Vick for his Bad Newz Kennels operation, but  Vick still has 3 years before he can own a dog as a pet!!  Run, Fido, run!!

++Sadly, Joe Paterno’s coaching career will end with an ugly footnote after his former defensive coordinator was arrested for sexually abusing young boys and men over a long period of time.  Jerry Sandusky was arrested on 40 charges including felony sex crimes against children.  When the incident was reported to Paterno, he notified the Athletic Director, who did nothing.  Joe’s failure to follow-through will forever tarnish his record.

++Finally, the Toronto Zoo is preparing to separate two male penguins who seem to be courting each other and having mating rituals like their male/female counter-parts.  Lovingly referred to as the “gay” penguins, Buddy and Pedro (his Latin lover) are going to be placed in environs with females only with the objective of them having sex with females.  Good luck, boys!  It is a young man’s dream come true….unless you happen to love Cher and Elton John!


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