Have you ever had those days when everything seemed to go wrong. A day when circumstances converged to make everything more difficult and frustrating than usual! A day when the odds are stacked against you. A day when every task seems to take more time, patience, and energy than it should. Well, yesterday was one of my “fuck me” days!
It all started when I overslept and had to rush to the golf course to meet Freddy and Dave! I did not have the proper time to warm up and the coffee in the clubhouse, which I depend on to start my engine, didn’t taste just right! The round took forever to complete and I screwed up the back nine. And, Freddy beat me…again! Fuck me!
Later, I went to my local auto repair shop to purchase some tires. I really only needed to replace the front tires, but then I would have different brands of tires on the car and Jane does not like that look! Fuck me! I had to buy four tires! Fuck me, again, because the new shoes for my steel pony cost almost $1,000! Oh, BTW, when they took off the back tires, my brake pads need to be replaced! Another $250 and another “fuck me!”
When I finally arrived home and fixed my vodka and tonic (very little tonic!!), I managed to knock my favorite double glass, insulated tumbler off the counter shattering it into a bazillion pieces and wasting my good vodka! Several dozen paper towels later and a turn with the Swivel Sweeper, I made another drink. Fuck Me!
Then, I decided to have a cigar on the patio as I mulled over my day and nursed my new vodka. So, I picked a La Fontana Puccini (Honduras blend) from the humidor and when I snipped the end off the cigar, I also snipped a part of my third finger…..and it bled like I had cut the damn thing off! Alcohol (rubbing, that is), band-aids, and lots of cussing immediately followed! FUCK ME!
Jane, who has been known to experiment in the kitchen, decided to create a “squash” sandwich for dinner. Lots of roasted veggies on a fresh loaf of French bread. It was pretty good (at least, that is what I told her); but, it had no meat, chicken, or fish for my daily need of essential protein! A little “fuck me!”
After a restless night of little sleep as I tossed and turned reliving my day, I headed to the golf course to meet Freddy and Dave again. Of course, the cut on my finger hurt when I swung the golf club the next day and I played terribly!
Oh, no, another “Fuck me!” day!
P.S. Of course, everyday that Obama is in the White House is a “fuck me” day for most Americans! So, I am not the only person rowing the boat!