Another “Fuck Me” Day!

Have you ever had those days when everything seemed to go wrong.  A day when circumstances converged to make everything more difficult and frustrating than usual! A day when the odds are stacked against you.  A day when every task seems to take more time, patience, and energy than it should.  Well, yesterday was one of my “fuck me” days!

It all started when I overslept and had to rush to the golf course to meet Freddy and Dave!  I did not have the proper time to warm up and the coffee in the clubhouse, which I depend on to start my engine, didn’t taste just right!  The round took forever to complete and I screwed up the back nine.  And, Freddy beat me…again!  Fuck me!

Later, I went to my local auto repair shop to purchase some tires.  I really only needed to replace the front tires, but then I would have different brands of tires on the car and Jane does not like that look!  Fuck me!  I had to buy four tires!  Fuck me, again, because the new shoes for my steel pony cost almost $1,000!  Oh, BTW, when they took off the back tires, my brake pads need to be replaced!  Another $250 and another “fuck me!”

When I finally arrived home and fixed my vodka and tonic (very little tonic!!), I managed to knock my favorite double glass, insulated tumbler off the counter shattering it into a bazillion pieces and wasting my good vodka!  Several dozen paper towels later and a turn with the Swivel Sweeper, I made another drink.  Fuck Me!

Then, I decided to have a cigar on the patio as I mulled over my day and nursed my new vodka.  So, I picked a La Fontana Puccini (Honduras blend) from the humidor and when I snipped the end off the cigar, I also snipped a part of my third finger…..and it bled like I had cut the damn thing off!  Alcohol (rubbing, that is), band-aids, and lots of cussing immediately followed!  FUCK ME!

Jane, who has been known to experiment in the kitchen, decided to create a “squash” sandwich for dinner.  Lots of roasted veggies on a fresh loaf of French bread.  It was pretty good  (at least, that is what I told her); but, it had no meat, chicken, or fish for my daily need of essential protein!  A little “fuck me!”

After a restless night of little sleep as I tossed and turned reliving my day, I headed to the golf course to meet Freddy and Dave again. Of course, the cut on my finger hurt when I swung the golf club the next day and I played terribly!

Oh, no, another “Fuck me!” day!

P.S. Of course, everyday that Obama is in the White House is a “fuck me” day for most Americans!  So, I am not the only person rowing the boat!

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2 responses to “Another “Fuck Me” Day!

  1. Vulgarity is the effects of a weak mind trying to express itself forcefully.

  2. Take a chill pill, Warren, it’s just a turn of a phrase and a little dirt humor! Lighten up! Pretty funny to me!

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