Domestic Tranquility – Valentine’s Day

Ok, guys, what are your plans for the woman in your life this week-end?  If you haven’t gotten restaurant reservations by now, then you are too late……..and already screwed!!  It will take a concerted effort to get ahead of the gathering storm!  I’d suggest that you contract H1N1 or something similar that will put you on the bench for at least a week!  You might even get some sympathy…..but, that, too, is doubtful!  She probably knows that you have procrastinated and is already planning her revenge!!  So, short of an accident that puts you in the ER, hunker down and prepare for the worst! 

On the other hand, if you think Denny’s, Luby’s, or Applebee’s is going to earn you any points….forget it!  You need a restaurant that, at a minimum, requires long pants and prohibits your Grateful Dead t-shirt!  She will want to dress up to impress all the other women in the restaurant; and expects you to be a complimentary accessory to her ensemble.  It is her day…not yours!

I asked Jane what she wanted to do for Valentine’s day and she said, “Let’s just stay home! The economy is bad, the weather is bad, and you do enough any way.”  If your woman gave you this message, here’s a tip from a guy with lots of experience…..IGNORE WHAT SHE SAID!  It is a trap!  When she talks to her friends and they go on and on about all the stuff their husbands did for them, she will never forgive you!  Regardless of her message to the contrary, she is expecting to be remembered. And, she already has a gift for you that she bought six months ago that she will “guilt trip” you with until next Valentine’s Day!

And, it doesn’t have to be a huge gift!  But Pajama-Grams or a Teddy-bears in a box won’t cut it.  If she is under 16, that might work!  But, if she is under 16, you’ve got another set of big problems!!

Your lady expects you to show her that she is special.  And, while you probably think of her as special everyday, (like I do with Jane….just in case she reads this post!) Valentine’s Day is different.  So, get the flowers, Godiva chocolates, jewelry, or whatever she will like. If you expect her to “cuddle,” there had better be something better than a Snuggie to unwrap!


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